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Dick, John and Anton Enforce the Law
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Hey, watch those rosebush thorns, Dick, oh gee, why do we have to be out here?

Look John, this is the only way to do this. Ever since we passed the Patriotic Defense of Marriage Act, Ive been aching to get out here in the field. After all, just how do you think we enforce this thing anyhow?

Well, I guess youre right, and that bedroom window is on the first floor. But do you think it was a good idea to bring Anton along? Separation of powers and all that.

Anton and I may have flown in my plane for hours, ate together, slept in the same bunk room, even showered together, but you dont really bond with a guy until youve sat together in the cold and dark, waiting to shoot a wild animal. And it really doesnt matter if it is ducks or beaver, if you know what I mean.

Come on, Dick, no need to get profane! I just get nervous that we are not doing the right thing, looking in windows and all.

John, we won the election, this is our due well, actually, we didnt win the election, but thats another good reason to have Anton here with us. Anton, what do you think?


Hey, lets be quiet people, looks like we have some activity here. They just came into the room.

Gee Dick, I think youre right. Look at her!!! Shes wearing a blue dress.

A blue dress?


Im not sure exactly what it means, but my understanding from my crack law enforcement team is that liberal women wear a blue dress as some sort of signal -- to liberal men -- that they want to have sex. Some day well crack the entire code, and then well be able to stop this stuff before it gets started.

All right, Dick, I think she is starting to get undressed. OOOHH boy, weve got a winner! Look, shes wearing red underwear! Under the Patriotic Defense of Marriage Act, wearing anything other than modest, white undergarments is a Class III felony. Lets arrest them now.

Hold on John, lets keep watching, I want to get something on them that will put them away for a long time.

Oh my goodness look at that, she looks just like the Statue of Justice!!

Oh come on, John, youre a married man, youve see a womans breast before.

Not with the lights on!

Holy Cow, now shes doing .. that Clinton thing!

With the cigar??!!


No, no, the other Clinton thing. You know


Quack Quack!!

Oh Jiminy Christmas. This is disgusting. Look at that shes enjoying herself!

Well, Dick, dont be too hard on her. Maybe he drugged her, gave her some Spanish Fly or something.

John, you know that since that last election over there, we dont call it that any more. You mean Freedom Fly.

Oh, yea, right.

Oh golly, this is awful. But I think we are really going to nail them. It looks like shes having an orgasm.

Women have orgasms?????


Well, not proper women, they just fake it. But my point is that under the Patriotic Defense of Marriage Act it is a Class I felony to have carnal knowledge in such a fashion that the woman enjoys herself.

That dirty trollop. I hope she gets pregnant. That is what she deserves!

And we have it all on film. Well just call in the troopers and wow, look at that guy!!! Just wait until Lynne shows this at the Eagle Forum.

Hey, Anton, what are you doing with the evidence? Anton!!!??

Oh, jeeze, hes erased it. Anton, thats not one of your speeches!


Thats all right John. As the dummy says, we just have to pretend that everything is going according to plan. And you know, we got a tip that the guy across the street has a hot date tonight..